The Correlation of the Physique & Psychic

We are pleased to announce that we have finally unearthed the answer to all human dilemma. Through a careful deconstruction of all the world’s problems, we believe to have stumbled upon the greatest academic discovery in the history of our relationship.

As with most significant discoveries, we seem to have accidentally stumbled upon a paradigm shattering understanding of the significance that our physical perceptions have on our mental functions.  This discovery, which is expected to be useful in all areas of efficient communication, relationship gauging, and counterintuitiveinterpersonal counseling, is finally being released for the privileged partners of the kevinomie research and intelligence firm co. ltd.

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In one of the many, many conversations which Naomi and I have held with each other from opposite ends of the world, we suddenly realized how much we use words that describe functions of our senses, to discuss concepts that are not related to our senses at all.  For example, we claim to see things that we’ve never looked at, feel things that we’ve never touched, etc.  This startling discovery prompted us to dissect the significance of our senses and their parallel to other parts of our existence.

To begin this study, we first made a list of the senses a human possesses, namely: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching.  We then set out to unearth all of the words we use to describe these senses, which gave us the following list:

• Seeing
• see
• look (stationary)
• watch (moving)
• Hearing
• hear
• listen
• Smelling
• smell
• sniff
• Tasting
• taste
• eat
• Touching
• feel
• touch

KEY:
Sensations/Perceptions are Underlined
Actions are emBoldened

• Seeing
• I see.
• Future looks good.
• Looking back, I wish I’d behaved differently.
• I’ve seen it used that way before.
• Hearing
• I hear you.
• It sounds like you want to be respected more.
• Smelling
• Something smells funny about that situation.
• Tasting
• He has no taste.
• Tastefully used…
• That was sweet!!!
• His actions produced many bitter feelings.
• The deal turned sour.
• Touching
• I feel you.
• What are your feelings?
• Do you feel ______ (happy, sad, angry, complacent, loving, irritable, etc)

From this list we concluded that we use seeing to describe our logical conclusions and accessions, hearing to describe our emotional conclusions and accessions, smelling – our assumptions, tasting – experiences, and touching – emotional empathy and state of being.

As we continued to observe these sensations, we found a pattern emerging.  Some senses are very logical, while others are more emotional.  Some give extremely clarified sensations, while others are much more ambiguous.  Some function over extensive distance, while others work only in close proximity to the thing being sensed.  Some require a brief exposure to be satisfied, others, a more lengthy one.  When we compiled the spectrum, we were shocked to find that the senses fit in the same order, regardless of which characteristics are used to sort them.  Specifically:

• Logical, Clarity, Faraway (distance), Brief (exposure)
• Seeing
• Hearing
• Smelling
• Tasting
• Touching
• Emotional, Ambiguity, Close (distance), Lengthy (exposure)

We then turned on our stash of ancient manuscripts, and were shocked to find that our order was confirmed through the code of scripture!

Deut 4:28 And there ye shall serve gods, the work of men’s hands, wood and stone, which neither see, nor hear, nor eat, nor smell.

Song 2:14 O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet [taste] is thy voice, and thy form [touch] is comely.

Ps 115:5-7 …eyes have they, but they see not: They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not: They have hands, but they handle not:

1Cor 12:17 If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?

As soon as we confirmed this order, we landed on an astonishing observation.  The five senses fit as natural gauges to the levels and stages of closeness in human relationships!  We compiled a chart to describe this phenomena, featured bellow:

What an enlightening discovery!!!  Never before have humans been equipped to use sensory verbiage to describe the health of their dating, the fulfillment of their church life, the vibrancy of their parental interactions, or ANY OTHER RELATIONAL EXPERIENCE.  We are pleased to have paved the way to a whole new fluidity of efficient communication on these matters.